Life is nicer when stuttering is easier

I am finding that starting out every conversation with a new acquaintance by telling them I stutter helps me maintain eye contact, helps me relax, helps the other person react better when I do stutter because they are expecting it rather than shocked, and that I stutter less. When I do stutter, I am seeing that I stutter more easily and get past it faster. I rarely block on any sounds, now. Oh, being able to converse easier makes life so much nicer!

Maintaining eye contact

I haven't been good at posting on my blog, but I am still working on my stuttering. I am working on one thing that "Self Therapy for the Stutterer" says to do - maintaining eye contact. That is hard for me to do as I have looked away from the person I am talking to whenever I stutter or feel a block coming on ever since I was a child. It is a habit that is very hard to break. When I find that I can keep eye contact, I do see that my self esteem plays a part in it. I am better at it with friends than strangers. People who know I stutter and am doing something to try to get better are easier to keep looking at. Part of the reason may be that their expressions are not ones of pity, surprise, or repulsion, but are more of patience, acceptance, and expecting something good to happen. I find that I do better if the other person reacts better.

conventions for stutterers

I have read on several forums about people attending conferences on stuttering. It is great that there are such things. It would be nice to be able to go and meet other people who live with stuttering every day. It would be great to hear the success stories of those who have overcome their stuttering and find out how long it took. I have read that you never can stop working on overcoming it! It is with me for life so I might as well accept that fact and learn what to do and keep on working on controlling it.

Making progress

Well, I have an easier time most days, but still need work. I am doing good at talking "slowly and deliberately." That is easier for me than sliding into words that are hard. Some have gotten easier, but I still need work on others. Telling people that I stutter sure does help me relax and talk better and most people seem patient and understanding. My next step is to work on the gestures and grimaces I have acquired over the years. Oh, boy!

Stuttering does not ruin us

Sometimes I find myself feeling alone and wishing I were never born because I stutter. But, when I get like that, I think of a girl I met when I was in second grade. She was born with a very ugly face. She was normal in every other way, but it was hard to look at her and not feel sorry for her. But, she had the best attitude and was so likeable after I got to know her. She was so much fun. She never made any comments about the way other people looked, talked, or acted. After you got to know her, you didn't seem to notice how ugly she was. She couldn't help how she was born or how her face looked. What she did do was to be so kind, thoughtful, interesting, and fun that you enjoyed being around her. She didn't feel sorry for herself so you couldn't feel sorry for her, at least not for long. I have often wondered what happened to her as she got older. We moved and I never kept in touch with her. I don't even remember her name. I hope life treated her as well as she treated life and others. Those of us who stutter could learn from her. We need to embrace ourselves as we are and let people see that stuttering does not ruin us as people.

Slid backwards

Well, I have been despondant because I let some dumb remarks and reactions to my stuttering get to me. I was rocking along doing very well with my stuttering coming easily and with no blocks, but then I had several bad days in a row. When some "friends" were unkind and impatient with me, I got worse. Memories from childhood teasing and time that I couldn't say what I wanted came flooding in. I can't change the past and I don't know how to change my reaction to the cruel people in this world who treat me like I am retarded or something. I thought I had gotten past that, and I think I have with strangers, but it really hurts when someone you think is a friend treats you unkindly. I wish they could understand; sometimes I wish they could live the life of a someone who stutters for just a week so they could see what we go through and feel how we feel.

I have picked myself up again and have started over with "Self Therapy for the Stutterer" and am more determined than ever to improve my speach on my own since I can't go to a speech therapist. If others can do it, so can I.

So, here I go not hiding my stuttering, no avoidance stuff, letting the stuttering happen easily, and smooth talking. I think I will read to my teddy bear tonight.

Still practicing

I have been practicing the easy onset speach and am still having trouble with some words, particulary "p" and "b." I have learned to slow down and don't talk so fast that I stumble over everything I try to say. Talking slowly and with pauses helps me stay in control of my speech. I am still working on those words that are hard for me - most of them start with "p" and "b" and cause me much tension. Self Therapy for the Stutterer says it best: "More likely you blocked because you held your mouth in a fixed postion. In other words, you pressed your lips together so tightly on the 'p' sound that you couldn't separate them and let the air escape. You couldn't uncork your mouth because you were making such a hard tight contact." That's what happens to me! I just have to learn to uncork my mouth.

Easy Onset Speaking

I have been working on "easy onset" talking. That is sliding into every sound of a word and stretching out the vowels and consonants. It is amazing how an extremely slow drawn-out manner of talking gives me better speech. The book says "stretch out and prolong all your voicing of sounds, particularly the starting sounds. And prolong all transitions between all sounds (consonant and vowel) with light, easy contacts on the consonants."

My stuttering has lessened greatly since I have learned to do the "easy onset" type of speaking. I had to spend some time practicing by myself and I still have trouble with "p" and "b." I speak slower and it seems unnatural but at least I am not stuttering as much and people understand what I am saying. Those that know me know that I am not dumb, and I don't care what anyone else thinks!

Mirror

I was surprised when I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror while talking (or trying to talk) to a clerk in a hotel. There was a wall of mirror behind her and I could see myself. I never realized what I did while trying to talk and get past my stuttering and blocks! I guess I was concentrating so much on my speech that I didn't realize what the rest of me was doing. When I got to my room, I stood in front of the mirror and and talked, but couldn't reproduce the same response. I guess it was because I was alone in the room. I am going to start putting my hands in my pockets or clasp them together so I don't twist my hair, slap myself, and pull at things like my ear. Gee, it is amazing that lady didn't laugh at loud or call a cop.

Happy

I will think "happy" and be happy. Whenever someone laughs at my stuttering or teases me about it, I am just ignoring them. I don't need that kind of people around. I will make time for having friendships with people who are kind, respectful, cheerful, and fun. I have accepted the fact that I stutter, and I am going to be happy with it and enjoy life while I improve my speech. I would rather have a speech problem that have the problem of being rude and disrespectful. I bet I get better at my speech long before they change their ways of treating others!

Please don't interrupt me

I have the perfect response to people who interrupt and say what they think you are trying to say when you are stuttering! It is in Frederick Pemberton Murray's book "A Stutterer's Story." He tells that Jack Paar "was blocking when a woman broke in with a statement of her own. He turned to her with a smile and said, 'Please don't interrupt me when I'm stuttering.'"
What a perfect response! I am going to try that one.

Eye Contact

I am working on another step towards improvement, and that is eye contact. I didn't realize how little I really looked at the people I was trying to talk with. It does make a difference in how you talk when you are looking at the person. It helps them in their reaction to your stuttering, too. I find that it is easier to do this with people I am comfortable with right now and still notice that I can't keep eye contact when I stutter while talking with strangers. It is such an ingrained response that I have been doing for so long. I will keep on working on it, though. I will improve with maintaining eye contact and my speech will improve, too. I have to have faith.

Working through it

I have read the first few chapters of "Self-Therapy for the Stutterer" by The Stuttering Foundation of America up to the start of the ground rules. Very inspirational. As I read, I underline things I feel apply to my stuttering and how I feel about it. I put a mark by things I found especially helpful. I am making a list of particular things I need to work on. I think admitting to others that I stutter instead of trying to hide it has been the best thing I have ever done. Because of that, I can now go to the next step of working on talking easier with soft starts.

Motivation

As I work through my self-therapy book, it says "If you are sincerely interested in working on your speech, you will need to have a strong motivation to overcome your difficulty and a sincere determination to follow through on the suggested procedures and assignments. The importance of motivation cannot be exaggerated, and success or failure of therapy will depend on your commitment in following through."

Well, I think I have been motivated and determined as I really want to stop stuttering. I will have to be diligent in practicing and concentrating on every new technique I learn.

Stuttering is tough

"Stuttering is a tough opponent. It never gives up. You've got to keep knocking it down to stay in command." Starbuck