Slid backwards

Well, I have been despondant because I let some dumb remarks and reactions to my stuttering get to me. I was rocking along doing very well with my stuttering coming easily and with no blocks, but then I had several bad days in a row. When some "friends" were unkind and impatient with me, I got worse. Memories from childhood teasing and time that I couldn't say what I wanted came flooding in. I can't change the past and I don't know how to change my reaction to the cruel people in this world who treat me like I am retarded or something. I thought I had gotten past that, and I think I have with strangers, but it really hurts when someone you think is a friend treats you unkindly. I wish they could understand; sometimes I wish they could live the life of a someone who stutters for just a week so they could see what we go through and feel how we feel.

I have picked myself up again and have started over with "Self Therapy for the Stutterer" and am more determined than ever to improve my speach on my own since I can't go to a speech therapist. If others can do it, so can I.

So, here I go not hiding my stuttering, no avoidance stuff, letting the stuttering happen easily, and smooth talking. I think I will read to my teddy bear tonight.